Antics Aboard the Enterprise
by Aesop's Julie
Summary: Collection of short fics in which nothing really makes any sense. But that's what makes it fun!
1. Birthday

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek or its characters, unfortunately.

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Birthday

It was Captain James T. Kirk's birthday aboard the Enterprise. There hadn't been a party (after all, he had a starship to run), but he had received small presents no doubt picked up lovingly on the last shore leave planet, and many, many happy birthday wishes. In addition, some kindhearted doctor had remembered the Captain's favorite candy, and had left decorative bowls of them in all the well-traveled rooms onboard.

Each station on the bridge had its very own dish of M&Ms, and everyone on duty could be heard munching the little candy-coated chocolates by the handful.

Everyone, that was, except Spock.

The Vulcan chose to ignore the tempting candy right under his nose and continued to do his duty as he always did, logically and accurately.

He had, though, made it clear to Kirk that he did not wish to insult him by not participating in the action on the occasion of his birthday. It was just not Vulcan to allow oneself even a small pleasure such as this.

Kirk had reassured him that under no circumstances would he believe that Spock would ever do such a thing on purpose, and that if he would rather not eat the chocolate, than by all means, he could choose to not eat it.

If he was even the slightest bit disappointed that Spock had refused his share in Kirk's birthday candy, what he witnessed later that day when he walked into the deserted mess hall after dinner, completely eradicated it from his mind forever.

For there, in a corner of the room, sat Spock at one of the long tables, back to the door, dark head bent studiously over what looked like a rainbow of colors. Tiptoeing closer, not wanting to disturb his first officer or make him aware of his presence and therefore possibly embarrass him, Kirk saw with delight that Spock had removed his station's dish of M&Ms and was patiently sorting them into groups by color, lined up in the order of a rainbow. He couldn't be sure, but knowing Spock, each little pile had exactly the same number of candies within it.

As he watched, the Captain witnessed something else that delighted him even more: having finished his numbered, colored sorting, Spock carefully brushed his hand along the edge of the table, sweeping up the leftover M&Ms into their own pile. Then, one by one, he transferred each tiny candy into his mouth.

Yes, thought Kirk as he maneuvered stealthily out of the long room. This had most certainly been a _very_ happy birthday.

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Inspired by The Wolf's Shadow (thank you!). Chapter 1 of my packet of ficclets. I think/hope. Many of my favorite authors, including The Wolf's Shadow, have done this, and I think it's a great idea for people like me who cannot find the willpower or the concentration to write long, interesting, relevant chapters of the same story.

I know Spock acts very OOC _and_ like he has OCD in this one, but bear with me, and remember: you _are_ reading fanfiction. :D

Julie


	2. Txting

Txting

hey spock look wht i found

Doctor. What are the functions of this action and device?

its called txting spock

"Txting", Doctor?

texting u ridiculus green bluded hobgoblin

Doctor, you seem to have spelled "ridiculous" and "blooded" incorrectly. Also, you have not used any punctuation whatsoever since we began this poor excuse for a conversation.

thts th point u dont hafta use pnctuation or spell thngs rite if u do it wastes time nd $ or it did back thn neway

Highly illogical. Also, I do not understand the purpose of using these handheld computers to type words and send them back and forth when we are standing precisely six point seven four meters apart from each other.

im jst testin it spock its an antique keep ur pants on

Doctor, your capacity for illogic is astounding. I have no intention of performing that pointless action. I do believe, however, that I shall take this "cell phone" back to my quarters and dismantle it to analyze its makeup and components.

…R U OUTTA UR VULCN MND? GIMME THT!

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Random fic is REALLY random. I don't know where it came from, legitimately; I don't text, and I never have. But I guess I thought it would be interesting to see how they'd react to cell phones in their futuristic era. :P Actually, I also think the last line was in my head, bouncing around, and I started wondering, "how would that look if it were abbreviated in a text message? Hmmm..." and went from there. Hope you liked it!

Julie

Ps. The previous disclaimer still applies.


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